Separation Is Also Included In Friendship
Separation Is Also Included In Friendship
Poems, songs, movies are all about separating from the beloved… When we say “separation”, most of us think of love pain; more or less everyone knows or is learning how to deal with such breakups. However, there are other types of relationships in our lives where accepting, hearing or saying the end can be much more difficult than romantic relationships, and friendships come first. No, I'm not just talking about resentments or resentments. Growing up together but going different paths, no more common points, continuing to talk politely but not being able to absorb it anymore… Does it sound familiar?
When life forces us to be selective ...
There are many friendships I witnessed during the pandemic period that ended or changed their skin. Restricted social life forced us to be selective about the people we would meet, and as a result, many of us made our "first survivors" lists. Imagine; How many programs do you want to cancel in your hustling life? What dating promises do you regret the moment you make? You just call it because you have to call, but you are happy when the phone does not pick up. Perhaps you can't find a topic to talk to with your friend who you once even told about what you had for lunch. Of course, the opposite of the scenario is also possible. You look forward to meeting, but your best friend prefers to stay away. First of all, know that you are not alone. Because separation is also included in friendship.
"Forever", a dream?
Separations of friends can make you feel very lonely. Especially close friendships, such as castles that cannot be destroyed in our eyes. But let's face it, it is unrealistic to expect them to last "forever" as we write in our diaries in middle school. Friendships can also end, as any relationship can end. Although it may seem like the end of the world at first, separation does not necessarily mean endless tears and endless drama. “We lived like brothers for years, but lately our relationship seemed to be going on out of necessity,” says a friend of mine who broke up with his closest friend last month. “Now I feel that I am in a new phase of my life and I don't want to do anything 'just' in this new period. People's paths may be separated, and I don't think we betray the good days when we accept it with maturity instead of perceiving it as a disaster or denying it. I prefer to fill that void in my life with people who are better at my current mood. Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, Katy Perry and Taylor Swift, Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna didn't do that either! ”
Now let's listen to someone who cannot accept the situation so easily and suffers after a separation of friends. Look, what does Ipek say, abandoned by her friend, with whom she eats together a few days a week, goes to the movies, concerts and holidays together, says: “Actually, I received the signals of the separation a few months ago, but I didn't want to accept it. It started to be a cold between us that I could not understand. One day he came and said that there was no particular problem, but that I was no longer good for him, that he loved me but he did not want to see me anymore. I was shocked! Almost a year has passed, but I can just quit stalking him on Instagram to see who he's meeting with, what he's doing. " Receiving psychological support to overcome the pain of separation, İpek's suggestion to those who experience the same things is to accept that this can be a reason for going to therapy in itself and not hesitate to seek professional help. He says that the therapy sessions are very good for him and it is normal for him to experience a "lost" feeling after a friend who leaves. Another? Rather than being left with question marks after everything is over, it may be helpful to try to understand why the relationship has come to this point and to speak openly about it without blaming ourselves or the other person. This is true for both scenarios. It is also important for the rest of our lives to see what we expect from a friendship and how much we can give to the other. He did not share your happiness in the good day, he was not with you in the bad day, he always wanted him to be taken care of or lied during your friendship ... Imagine, even if there were negative aspects of your relationship, since you have been side by side all this time, you also experienced good things. So if you are the one who wants to leave, try to do it face to face without delaying the conversation too much, be honest as much as possible, but avoid offensive words. If half the friendship is trying to understand each other, the separation part deserves empathy; Friendships also get their share from the life cycle full of ends and beginnings.