Did We Miss the Appointment?
Did We Miss the Appointment?
Alain de Botton, whose skill in interpreting the concepts of daily life with philosophy and literature is indisputable, says in his latest novel Love Lessons, published after a long wait; "One of the oddities of this age is that the easiest way to make friends is usually to ask the other person to undress." My friend Berk, who has little to do with either philosophy or literature, but is very concerned with women, does not find the situation strange, but agrees with him: “We should not raise the issue of sex. Because these days is the shortest and healthiest way to build intimacy between two people. "
If the romantic movies of our lives start flowing backwards
To a very distant time ago; We do not have to go as far as meeting at the pudding shops, waiting for months even to go to dinner together, expressing love with songs, letters and poems. But I can't help but think that even 10 years ago, the lines of flirting with someone have blurred so much when it comes to "date", which has a more important place in the lives of educated, modern, socio-economic people. The moment I asked myself this question for the first time, it coincides with a single women's desk conversation, which I would call Sex and the City-like if not too out of date. One of my closest friends went out to dinner with the man he liked, then they went to the movies. The man quietly takes our girl's hand while watching the movie. A whirlwind of excitement at the table as my friend tells this! Clapping hands, hugging each other, starting to cry sobbingly… Okay, I exaggerated a bit. But believe me, just the crying part. Now you can say "what's in it, it's a first meeting as we know it". I would say don't make up your mind without hearing the story of the night we met at the bar, then the home visit with a message sent at midnight, and the painful message waiting days. Isn't it ironic to first pass the 'small' detail of making love and then hold hands? After that evening, a small statistical study among my single friends aged 30-45, living in big cities, proved that; The overwhelming majority agree that romance is beginning to flow backwards, although the process of two people meeting, enjoying each other and turning the communication between them into a relationship is not just like that.
If those who first see each other's naked state and then make forward-looking (!) Plans such as drinking coffee, this can be regarded as an exciting development. Who knows, maybe now that intimacy has meant to express the desire to establish emotional intimacy, asking the other person about his life has become like trying to see him naked. The reason for this is because Okan, 41, said, "It is very difficult to leave a person you know and whom you officially say" we are together "just because he does not satisfy you sexually. I prefer to realize that I am happy with him in bed first and then formalize the situation ”he explains. “I think people are already interacting with people they have in a common environment, in the virtual or real world. So they actually feel like they know the person they are facing with a little bit of social media, a little bit of Google research. That's why they are more comfortable. "
Riding or not riding the roller coaster
In a very busy life, not wanting to devote even one meal time to someone you don't know much, being afraid of finding a topic to talk about, being bored, and moreover, the fact that sex is starting to cease to be a taboo may be the reasons why nobody is planning a meeting anymore. It is known that the word "dating" was first used in the American Ladies' Home Journal in 1914. Meeting, appointment, dating… We do not know whether they will be buried in the dusty pages of history and dropped out of dictionaries over time. But when you think about it, it is not difficult to remember the beauty of preparing with excitement and diligence to meet someone who is not our lover, the butterflies flying around us and wondering what awaits us on the roller coaster we ride. Maybe that's why it might not be a bad idea to express, or even propose, our desire to have a real date if we want to. Long live the honorable struggle of women who demand a date!